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It’s official – only 1 home for sale in the Denver MLS!

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With inventories steadily declining over the last three years, real estate analysts have been repeatedly warning about the coming tsunami of limited inventory and today marks the first day of single digit home listings in the Denver Metro Area. As reported in national news over the last year, Denver has seen an unprecedented shrinking of its housing inventory and has become the poster child for home buyer frenzy, with home sellers receiving dozens of offers and homes consistently selling above asking prices. Today’s market reality, however, will very possibly change the housing market for the long run.

Adam S., the homeowner of the only home on the market today in Denver, had not even been thinking about selling his home. He has a good job and likes Denver, but when he read about his neighbor’s home selling for 3 times the Zillow estimate he knew the time had come. “I realized that I could take the profit from my home and retire in a less expensive part of the country, such as New York, and never have to work again!” Knowing that putting his home on the market today would generate gridlock producing traffic, he chose to vacate his home and stay at an undisclosed location until it sells. “I have requested help from the Denver Police and Fire Department to manage the mass of prospective buyers coming to view the home after watching numerous fights breaking out at my neighbor’s home during their showings”, said Adam “ and I will be charging a $100 viewing fee to offset the expected damages”.  When asked what kind of offers he expected Adam shared that to receive the winning bid the potential buyer would have to submit the purchase price in unmarked $100 bills and provide a private jet to take him to NY.

So, what will the future hold for the Denver housing market and is there something that can be done to stabilize it? “We are very much aware of the current housing situation and have started a new campaign to address the issues that are fueling this unprecedented growth”, said the Mayor of Denver in an interview yesterday, “and we are excited to be revealing our new “Divert from Denver” campaign in May. With this initiative we are providing other cities in the nation our blueprint to attract some of the same demographics that have been flocking to Denver and so put a stop to the explosive growth that has been fueling this housing shortage. The blueprint includes successful city planning strategies such as clustering breweries, yoga studios, independent coffee shops and Marijuana dispensaries on busy street corners, as well as an in-depth lifestyle guide including food truck menus, styling guides for the new lumberjack look and music/yoga/hipster festivals that have drawn so many people to Denver in the past, and we hope with this blueprint, now to other cities as well.”

It is to be seen whether this campaign will have any effect on the current housing crunch, but until we see an easing of the inventory shortage, here are some practical ideas for those of you hoping to buy a home in the Denver area in the near future:

  1. Don’t! Just move back in with your parents (47% of Millennials already do)
  2. Buy a work/live food truck (with a bike/ski rack)
  3. Raise money on Kickstarter for a Real Estate Commune and buy a loft in LoDo, with cash
  4. Move to New York

Disclaimer: This is a satirical article posted on April Fool’s Day. Any similarities with current or past events is purely coincidental and on purpose.

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